Entitled mother-in-law refuses to pitch in to daughter-in-law’s lake house holidays despite bringing uninvited extra guests, DIL insists she contribute more than dessert: “I don’t want to provide an entire meal yet again”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 23, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Unspoken tensions between mother-in-laws and their daughter-in-laws can create tacit expectations in family dynamics. Though no one verbally agreed to something, no one signed anything, it can be hard to disintegrate a bad relationship with someone. Layers of passive aggressive comments, years of eyes askew, it can all create unwanted dynamics.   


If your MIL is a megalomaniac woman bent on controlling your husband (her son) until her last breath, then you're out of luck for family relations. Trying to make the peace with a domineering MIL is like trying to get a Slavic girl to half-half on a date. There are real impossibilities in life that everyone needs to reconcile, even if we sometimes want to live in our fantasy. I always say that when you marry you marry into the family, and not just the individual. It's important to bridge gaps in relationships before saying, "I do." 

In the story below, the protagonist has some difficulties with her MIL. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10533327616
    via Pixland from Photo Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Since buying a cabin on a lake my mother in law invites herself, her husband, grown daughter and her family over for all holidays and father's day for bbqs at the
    via u/OkHoliday981

  • It's common courtesy that if someone hosts something, you should provide something too. Whether it's a bottle of something, a dessert, a side, or ingredients for an appetizer, it's important to bring something and show your thanks to the host. Especially if you're going to invite 8 other family members. 

  • 03
    lake. We have always provided meals and drinks for everyone while my mother in law brings a dessert or a salad. This week she has extended family in town and
    via u/OkHoliday981
  • 04
    my mother in law said she was bringing them out on Sunday. A few days later she messaged and asked if she should bring dessert.
    via u/OkHoliday981
  • 05
    | suggested she bring the main course and dessert and I would make a salad. Needless to say that didn't go over well. Am I the ahle for not wanting to provide the entire meal yet again.
    via u/OkHoliday981
  • 06
    Legitimate_Rule_64... • 4h ago Why isn't your spouse handling this? Tell them to call mom and put a stop to this nonsense.
    via u/Legitimate_Rule_6410
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    Cheezburger Image 10529068544
    via davelogan from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    Jaded-Breath-7022 •4h ago Hey you're welcome to come but we aren't in a position to host at this time so if you're planning on eating here you may want to
    via u/Jaded-Breath-7022
  • 09
    bring something. If they push you to cook just tell them that you can't afford it. this week. Don't let her walk
    via u/Jaded-Breath-7022
  • 10
    over you and even if you can afford it it's none of her business how you choose to spend your money
    via u/Jaded-Breath-7022
  • 11
    SquareGiraffe7373 • 4h ago Uninvite her. Tell her she is not welcome to the BBQ. Tell those people she invited that they cannot come. Grow up, grow a spine, be an adult speak up
    via u/SquareGiraffe7373
  • 12
    Tess408 3h ago So she is calling you, announcing a date for a BBQ, and then once you acknowledge that, she invites more people, then confirms she is only bringing a salad.
    via u/Tess408
  • 13
    She is backing you into a corner by taking charge of the scheduling and invitations.
    via u/Tess408
  • 14
    Call or text immediately, say you were actually not planning on hosting anything that weekend, but if she is having a BBQ at
    via u/Tess408
  • 15
    hers, you hope she has a fantastic time. You may be able to make it there and bring some dessert, but you have to check with husband.
    via u/Tess408
  • 16
    In the future, if you are inviting people, let her know there will be no other guests invited. If she tries to add people, the answer is always
    via u/Tess408
  • 17
    no. If she shows up with people, embarrass the sh out of her over it with your well intentioned comments.
    via u/Tess408
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10529070080
    via Karolina Grabowska from Pexels /Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Then, if she is not apologizing, don't invite her to the next one. She needs to be dealt with like a petulant child. Your husband should be the one to do it.
    via u/Tess408
  • 20
    NTA, but you are the ah le to yourself for letting it go this long.
    via u/Tess408
  • 21
    totally-jag ⚫3h ago First, you have a spouse problem. They should be managing this situation with their family. You shouldn't have to be the "bad" guy. It
    via u/totally-jag
  • 22
    puts you in a bad situation with the in-laws that makes you look bad. They should deal with this, without saying my spouse is making me.... You're a team. They should be on your side.
    via u/totally-jag
  • 23
    Next, while a larger portion of the responsibility lands on your MIL for inviting people to your house, your spouse's entire family is taking advantage of you.
    via u/totally-jag

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